inspiration

I am back home now, and i will eventually finish the tale of the rest of my time in SF, but for now this is on my mind and has been for a few days so here we go...

Things my cousin has inspired for me
(now before you read this and think i am weird just keep in mind that things have not exactly been easy for me and i had hit quite a slump)

1. Brush your teeth twice a day - i know, every dentist tells you this and i should know better, but honestly when you are depressed, personal hygiene sometimes takes a back seat. What is impressive about my cuz is that he does it even if he comes home at 4am completely wasted, now that is dedication

2. fold my laundry after every load...once again, i know i know, but to me this is big

3. keep the house simple and clean

4. buy fresh groceries and make delicious meals for myself. - the revelation here is that though my cousin could easily be the average boy and live off pizza and frozen food because he lives alone and also has the funds to support a lifestyle of eating out every meal, he does not do it. By watching him shop frugally but intelligently and make wonderful creations almost every night I was impressed with both his ability and the do-ability of the task. If my cousin who works full time can do this every day, then i who is unemployed can life off of something other than frozen/instant food.

5. being active, staying healthy - my cousin is in amazing shape (granted he is asian). He drinks quite a bit but man there is no hint of beer belly on this guy. He goes for 3 hours rock climbing sessions after a full day of work and he still has energy! I personally have no interest in rock climbing but i can at least walk for an hour a day and do a few crunches

6. my cousin has a life out side of work - when i was working i was so miserable that i felt like it consumed my life. by the time i got home after work and put my stuff down i felt like the whole day was over and that i had no time before going to bed. then i would putter around and dink on the computer or something else inane before going to bed way too late anyways all the time feeling like i did not have time. My cousin on the other hand works full time and still has a very full and fulfilling social life. He goes out, sees friends, has them over, exercises, participates in community and cultural events all the while being able to work and do good. This i find to be perhaps the most inspirational aspect of his life as i observed it. I gave me hope that one day i too will find a job i love that i can do good at and ALSO have a life outside of work. In my life up to this point there always felt like there were not enough hours in a day and that i was not doing enough of what i wanted to do with my life. My cousin has shown me that it is an issue of perception and attitude and he has given me hope.

7. Finally, my cousin shows me that there are men out there who are grown up, mature, sophisticated, fun, caring, successful, CLEANS UP AFTER THEMSELVES, and giving. Though this one is related, spending time with him and his friends gives me hope of meeting one such as them in time

okay where was i...?

so Saturday

woke up early after crazy friday night and decided that i am going to get some of the sights off my list of stuff i wanted to see. So after some googling i hoped the light rail and went to golden gate park. On the agenda was the Conservatory of flowers and also the SF Botanical Gardens. gotta love that SF architecture, near the sunset area

I got onto the light rail, got off about 2 stops early but it was okay cause i ended up walking the rest of the way and stopped at a cute little thai restaurant on the way because i knew that i was planning on much walking and last night's drinks weren't gonna cut it fuel wise...also to my annoyance i had walked to 3 starbucks within walking distance of my cousin's place on the embarcadero and EVERY SINGLE ONE WAS CLOSED!!! I hate this economy...no starbucks on weekends in the embarcadero/financial district...

So i arrived at the conservatory

It was beautiful...i have a weakness for old victorian style wood and glass conservatories, i harbor secret fantasies of being the docent for a botanical garden/conservatory in britain
Inside the conservatory, I took lots of pics of flowers inside

then i meandered over to the botanical garden. It is very very large. The day i went it was a bit overcast but at least i arrived in spring so there were blooms and other growths. i would like to return one day in the summer and see how different it would look.

once again lots of pics of flowers, which i will not bore everyone with, though i noticed that i am most attracted to very very tiny flowers in clusters especially the ones where you have to look really close to see that it is even a blossom

a little too much fun

so lets get started...

Thursday.

Spent wednesday night with family in Oakland, spent morning getting dim sum. Passed out around 2-5pm and woke to news that we were going out. Initially i was told that i was going to my cousin's best friend's house for greek dinner...i thought maybe one or two additional people, small midweek dinner at friends...i was wrong. me and some guy at the party

Ended up being a huge party and it was pretty fun. met some nice people and sang some drunk songs. Overall
1. officially smoked a hookah
2. flirted with hot german guy (and by flirted i mean at least on my part) me with cute german (3rd from the left and my cousin alex playing guitar in the back)

3. found out about couch surfing

Friday

spent morning and afternoon with family. met some really cute kids who are my second cousins once removed. Saw a bit of castro and noe valley. Came home, thought we were having quite evening. went to borders and had dinner at a neat little place in chinatown. Came back to trying to decide what to watch on free on demand...

evening part II, cousins friend shows up and after much deep philosophysing got talked into going out. Problem...(a) it was already 12:30am (b) was hoping for early night and catch up on sleep (c) had no going out appropriate clothing nor makeup. Long story short, was dragged into going out, put my hair up and slapped on alot of liquid eyeliner and heels

we catch a cab out to the mission area and went to my first official dance club that is not the stupid cheesy one in my hometown. Wandered around with drunken party (i only had 1 drink so this was hilarious in itself) and had a bacon wrapped hot dog from little hotdog stand run by spanish speaking meat vendors vendor at which they sell bacon wrapped hot dogs with grilled onions

all in all the night ended well, the necessary peeing in alley was done by at least one party in our entourage and someone else hurt themselves (only very slightly...but it did draw blood) doing something dumb...what a night

i finally made it out the door

so after a few days of battling tiredness and depression i finally made it out the door of my cousin's apartment and went to do stuff. Below is a pic of my cousin's apartment, its right off the bay on south beachI walked to fisherman's wharf with the intent of going to the aquarium but then decided when i got there that i didn't want to pay 16 bucks to go to the aquarium as 1) there is a great aquarium in Oregon that i can go to with my godson and 2) there is an aquarium at the california academy of science which i plan to go to later on.

So pretty much i walked most of the length of the embarcadero and had lunch at the pier at the crab house. It was a bit of a splurge but it was great, i had pan seared crab, mussels and shrimp.then i just walked around the embarcadero and took every opportunity to sit down as i am a big dork and went out in my high heel boots

arrival

I have arrived and survived and all in one piece. The train ride was better than i expected, its my first time ever on a train and i slept fairly well all things considered (i had the first seat in the car so i was right by the doors leading to the other cars...every five minuets loud door opening and lights) though it probably helped that by the time i got on the train i had been awake for about 23 hours.This is where my bus offloaded in SF

Did not get to see much scenery as it was dark but the view from the observation car was still fairly impressive as it was lit up by snow and a full moon.

Got to SF is the morning, my cousin picked me up and first order of business was for some good chinese dim sum...yummmm

i think we are just gonna take it easy here for the day and kick it, we have dinner plans with family and more good chinese food for the evening so hurray! oh and my cuz was kind enough to put out and air bed so i don't even have to sleep on the couch

on the knitting end i have cast on for my cousin's present, but being a moron and sleep deprived i have somehow failed to join in the round and did not realize it until halfway through the round...uhhh...maybe i should give it a try later

when the going gets tough..

i am going to San Francisco tomorrow for an indeterminate period of time, might be a week or two, haven't quite decided yet. actually to be honest its not even really my idea to go but my parents have decided that i need a mental health break and has determined that i need to go out of town. As i have much family in the bay area it was decided that this would be the cheapest way for me to go as far as i can afford. I am leaving tomorrow in the evening on Amtrak, will be my first train ride ever and hopefully it will be better than the greyhound. though last time i went on a trip like this i had a husband to go with me. so really other than some trips when i was a kid this is the farthest i will have gone on my own.

i know i should be excited and i know that this is a great opportunity to have some fun and enjoy myself but truth be told i am not really into it right now. i think i will feel differently when i get there but for now it feels stressful to have to pack and be ready to go. Being as OCD and a worry wort as i am it is crazy making this traveling on my own thing. i worry if i will forget something though i know its dumb because i am just going to San Francisco and not the end of the world and if i forget something i can always buy it there and i will survive...at least so my brain tells me.

i don't like leaving so much unfinished and up in the air at home but i have to face the fact that
1. it will still be here when i get back
2. its not like alot is happening anyways (applied for food stamps, can't apply for unemployment till April and the job search as most of the US knows is sucking)
3. i am in a slump and need a break from my life

but still, i worry. i am sure i have pack far too much clothes and brought too much with me to do. in my paranoia i have packed:
1. my laptop
2. my ipod
3. 2 novels
4. a book of crossword puzzels
5. yarn and needles for the neck gaiter i want to knit my cousin during my 14 hr train ride
6. another knitting project in progress

and that is so far....

my dogs will be fine, their daddy is coming over to stay at my place while i am gone. and really the world will go on. The only time sensitive thing is that i have not planted my spring bulbs in the garden but the truth is i don't have the bed dug yet so tough i guess

i am anticipating regularly updating during my trip, wish me luck!