when the going gets tough..

i am going to San Francisco tomorrow for an indeterminate period of time, might be a week or two, haven't quite decided yet. actually to be honest its not even really my idea to go but my parents have decided that i need a mental health break and has determined that i need to go out of town. As i have much family in the bay area it was decided that this would be the cheapest way for me to go as far as i can afford. I am leaving tomorrow in the evening on Amtrak, will be my first train ride ever and hopefully it will be better than the greyhound. though last time i went on a trip like this i had a husband to go with me. so really other than some trips when i was a kid this is the farthest i will have gone on my own.

i know i should be excited and i know that this is a great opportunity to have some fun and enjoy myself but truth be told i am not really into it right now. i think i will feel differently when i get there but for now it feels stressful to have to pack and be ready to go. Being as OCD and a worry wort as i am it is crazy making this traveling on my own thing. i worry if i will forget something though i know its dumb because i am just going to San Francisco and not the end of the world and if i forget something i can always buy it there and i will survive...at least so my brain tells me.

i don't like leaving so much unfinished and up in the air at home but i have to face the fact that
1. it will still be here when i get back
2. its not like alot is happening anyways (applied for food stamps, can't apply for unemployment till April and the job search as most of the US knows is sucking)
3. i am in a slump and need a break from my life

but still, i worry. i am sure i have pack far too much clothes and brought too much with me to do. in my paranoia i have packed:
1. my laptop
2. my ipod
3. 2 novels
4. a book of crossword puzzels
5. yarn and needles for the neck gaiter i want to knit my cousin during my 14 hr train ride
6. another knitting project in progress

and that is so far....

my dogs will be fine, their daddy is coming over to stay at my place while i am gone. and really the world will go on. The only time sensitive thing is that i have not planted my spring bulbs in the garden but the truth is i don't have the bed dug yet so tough i guess

i am anticipating regularly updating during my trip, wish me luck!