being philosophical

so as some might know i got fired on Wednesday, and on my way home from said firing i got a traffic ticket. then later that day i caught the pukeing disease that has been running around. so yeah, its been quite a week.

on the being fired front i am currently disputing it with HR as there has been some really shady stuff going on where i work and in fact i was told that there is currently an investigation going on, but i don't find out till next week, so who knows. All i care at this point is that they can't challenge my unemployment claim.

All in all i am feeling pretty philosophical about the whole thing (in between episodes of violent crimson rage)  and with a little lubrication from some libations i have been doing okay all things considered. 

I realized that something in my life needed to change and maybe this is the world's way of making sure that i snapped out of the vicious hole of shit that was my life. Lets face it, i was miserable and i was coming home from work and crying about 4 out of 5 days of working. I hated it so much that i would lose sleep dreading the next day and my weekends were awful as i would start getting depressed by saturday night about the up comming week. On top of all that i am not a quitter and as much as i hated it i still went in everyday and gave it my all. The truth is i didn't have it in me to quit, i was too scared and too determined and this just pushed my hand. 

So now i have the time i have been needing to work on my resume, the time i needed to put full energy into finding another job and finally for the first time in over 5 years some time for myself. My first act of giving time to myself is to take this weekend off and not worry about anything. Next week i will take care of the time sensitive necessary things (applying for food stamps, unemployment, forebearance on student loans) and then it will be time to look at my life, regroup and start over. I need to focus on my health, both physical and mental and to create a life for myself and my dogs. I need a life where i don't cry on almost a daily basis, where i can be healthy and where i can have time for the things i love like my dogs, gardening, knitting, beading. 

so i am off to have some ice cream, watch some tv and catch up on some good reads